october is looming and i'm fighting the scariest thing of all...the american job market

Me at any given moment of the day

Alright girlies, I have a little bit of a secret…ya girl is unemployed. :(

Pros: It gave me time to start this blog!

Cons: Literally everything else.

Okay, okay, it’s not that bad. Yet.

I’m actually in a pretty fortunate situation. My previous employer gave us plenty of notice that my department was closing, offered a decent severance package, and said I’d be welcome to apply for positions in other departments when they became available. I had a decent amount of savings, my boyfriend’s job pays well enough to keep us afloat if necessary, and I have a supportive family that would help if I needed it.

I also happened to be thinking about making a career change, so when I was laid off, I tried to see it as a blessing in disguise. Maybe this was the universe forcing me to slow down, figure out what I actually wanted, and find something better.

And for a while, it felt that way.

During the first few weeks, I actually welcomed the break. My last couple of jobs had been high-stress and required some crazy hours, so my mind and body really needed a reset. I joked that I was on Summer Vacation™, my first real one since graduating college. That’s because I realized something else: I’ve basically never not worked during my adult life.

I had a part-time job while attending college full-time. I landed a job in my career field during my senior year (literally starting the same week as my senior year finals, which was fun). At one point, I worked two jobs simultaneously. Then I eventually settled into one, moved, and started my most recent job just a week later.

It wasn’t until I started talking to some former coworkers that I realized how unusual that was. A lot of my peers had experienced periods of unemployment at some point. Some intentionally took a gap year after graduation. Some simply needed weeks or months to find a job. Others took breaks between jobs because they could. That had never really felt like an option for me.

So when unemployment finally happened, I decided to embrace it. I could use the time to breathe, recover from the chaos of my previous jobs, and figure out where I wanted my career to go. I could dedicate more time to finding a job that actually aligned with my goals. 

It was great...for the first couple of months.

I had more time for my hobbies. I was sleeping better. I started going to the gym more consistently. I had time to take care of things around the house and generally make some much-needed improvements to my life.

But then the weeks kept passing. And passing. And passing.

Suddenly, having an extra 40 hours a week wasn’t quite as fun when there was a giant, looming question hanging over all of it: When are you going to get a job?

Don’t get me wrong—I would choose freedom over labor any day of the week. Unfortunately, my bank account does not share my passion for freedom. Eventually, I need an income. And the longer this goes on, the more anxious I’ve become about finding one.

I’ve submitted a lot of applications. I’ve had a couple of interviews. I’ve tweaked my resume, rewritten cover letters, searched job boards, expanded the types of positions I’m willing to consider, and spent countless hours trying to figure out how to make myself stand out in a very crowded job market.

And yet…nothing.

I already knew the job market was rough, but I think I naively hoped I’d just...get lucky. Maybe I’d find the right position, apply at the right time, and everything would fall into place. Instead, I’ve discovered that unemployment has a weird way of turning “I have all the time in the world!” into “Why does it feel like I have no time at all?”

Because technically, I have more free time than I’ve ever had. But when finding a job becomes the thing you’re supposed to be doing with that time, it stops feeling like free time. Job hunting can become its own full-time job (except there’s no paycheck, and often not even a rejection email to let you know your efforts went nowhere).

And I think that’s the part I’m struggling with the most. I’m grateful for the position I’m in. I know I’m fortunate to have the ability to take my time figuring out my next move. I don’t want to lose sight of that.

But I’m also have to admit that this shit is stressful.

Six months ago, unemployment felt like an unexpected opportunity to pause my life. Now, I’m ready for the pause button to come off. 

Anyway, I'm trying my best to remain optimistic, and hopefully I'll hear some good news soon. 

TTYL,

Eryn <3