is it a quarter-life crisis, or am I just bored?

Hello, girlies! This post is a little bit of a downer, but it's a slight follow up to my previous post about unemployment.

It's been almost a week since my last post, and I've been really struggling to figure out what to write about next. It's not 100% writer's block. I actually have two posts sitting in my drafts about topics that have been on my mind, but I just haven't had the energy to finish them.

That's been the problem lately. This whole week, I've felt... tense. On edge. Off-center. I can't seem to fully relax or focus on anything. I know part of it is my period, which manages to throw me completely off my game every month. I'm too tired to get out of bed, everything hurts enough that I don't want to move, and I'm left feeling lazy, hungry, and generally unproductive. A lovely combination!

But I think there's something else going on, too. Lately, I've felt stuck, like I'm standing in the middle of my life waiting for something to happen, but I have absolutely no idea what that something is supposed to be.

I think part of it is boredom. Not the fun kind where you complain there's nothing to watch on Netflix and then scroll for three hours. I mean the kind where your days start blending together, your routine feels repetitive, and even the things you enjoy begin to feel like ways to pass the time. You wake up, go through the motions, and suddenly it's nighttime. Then you do it all over again.

The funny thing is, I have plenty of things I could be doing. I have hobbies to explore, projects to finish, and goals I'd like to accomplish. But somehow, having all this free time has made me feel more overwhelmed than productive. There's so much I could do that I end up not knowing where to start. I want to make progress, but figuring out how to make that progress feels exhausting. So I do nothing, get frustrated with myself for doing nothing, and repeat the cycle the next day.

And of course, nothing makes you feel better about your own lack of progress quite like opening LinkedIn!

Lately, I've found myself looking at the profiles of old friends and acquaintances and seeing all the ways their lives are moving forward. New jobs, promotions, graduate degrees, exciting career opportunities. I'm genuinely happy for them, but I can't help comparing their progress to my own. While they're updating their profiles with their latest accomplishments, I'm trying to figure out when the hell I'm going to hear back from a recruiter.

Don't get me wrong: I know a lot of people are struggling right now. But my lack of progress has made me start questioning everything. Should I go back to school? Maybe a master's degree would give me some direction. It could open new doors, help me change careers, and give me something concrete to work toward. Maybe that's exactly what I need! Or maybe I'm just looking for something to do so I don't feel like I'm standing still.

That's the thing about a quarter-life crisis: sometimes it's hard to tell whether you genuinely want to make a big change or whether you're just uncomfortable with where you are right now. When everyone around you seems to be moving forward, it's tempting to make a major decision simply because you want to feel like you're moving, too. And suddenly, you're considering taking on more school, more debt, and more responsibilities because LinkedIn made you feel unaccomplished on a random Tuesday afternoon. Love that for us!

I don't necessarily think I'm unhappy with my life. I think I'm uncomfortable with the feeling that I'm not going anywhere. I want something to look forward to, something to be excited about, and a sense that I'm actively participating in my own life instead of watching the days pass by.

I don't have a grand solution to this feeling, and I'm not going to pretend I've figured everything out. Maybe I need more structure, maybe I need to try something new, or maybe I need to stop treating every quiet period of my life as evidence that I'm falling behind.

For now, I'm trying to remind myself that progress doesn't look the same for everyone, and just because I can't see where my life is going doesn't mean I'm destined to stay stuck here forever.

So, if any of you lovelies are also feeling like you're stuck in some strange waiting room between the life you have and the life you want, just know you're not alone. I don't have all the answers, but at least we can be confused together.

And if you have figured out how to escape this weird little limbo, please let ya girl know. I'm taking suggestions!

TTYL,

Eryn